Fit Shaming
We’ve all heard of all kinds of different types of shaming in regards to someone's physique. Unfortunately, one less common but very real form of body shaming is a detrimental phenomenon known as ‘fit shaming.’ Fit shaming involves criticizing or belittling individuals based on their fitness level, habits, or routines. Basically, you get sh*t from people when you are trying to be healthy. It’s very common to see this type of shaming in social situations and gatherings with people outside your health and wellness circles.
As an athlete myself, I’ve been experiencing this type of shaming since I was very young. As a coach, I’m constantly working with my clients on how to navigate through their own experiences of shaming by people in their circles as they work on having a healthier and happier life. It can be extremely uncomfortable, stifling, and alienating. This is probably one of the biggest barriers towards finding long term success in a health journey. It’s a nuanced and delicate subject that requires finesse, understanding, compassion, and education.
Fit shaming can be loosely defined as negative behavior or attitude towards someone who is actively pursuing health and wellness. Negative behavior/attitude is usually exhibited after an individual expresses their health goals/habits that are outside the normal status quo. Examples of what this could look like in your own life can be:
Coaxing from a friend who repeatedly requests to try their dessert after politely declining sweet treats at a party.
Being badgered at a bar or restaurant to indulge in an alcoholic beverage after expressing the desire to abstain.
Having a spouse or family member express animosity towards your exercise frequency or food choices at home (the horrified looks from everyone in the room when you decline a slice of grandma’s famous apple pie).
We’ve all heard comments like “can’t you just start your diet tomorrow,” “it’s just one drink,” “come on, you deserve it,” or “you’re no fun,” and sometimes it can escalate to more aggressive responses and even hinder the growth of relationships.
As the individual trying to do something different in their life, you have to try to understand why you might get such reactions. It can help ease some tension for yourself, and for the other person. Everyone is on a different spectrum of their fitness and health journey whether they know it or not. Some people are farther along than others. You must remember, no one who is doing MORE than you will ever be unsupportive of your journey.
You have 3 choices to navigate fit shaming and the inevitable disappointment your health journey will bring upon someone else, as well as your own feelings of discomfort from being outside the realm of normal social behavior. The 3 choices are:
The Follower
The Isolator/Detached
The Leader
The Follower's decision is just that, you decide not to ruffle the bushes and go along with what everyone else is doing. You might do this to ‘go along to get along’ to avoid unwanted attention or tough conversations. This is the most common decision people make in the heat of the moment when something comes up and they can’t attend a gym session or they choose to eat something outside their normal dietary routine. This decision stifles progress the most, for consistency and longevity, particularly for people who find themselves in social settings and schedule conflicts often. These people are most susceptible to yo-yo dieting and “starting over on Monday.” However, we can’t ignore that sometimes this choice is actually the RIGHT choice if the decision is something you actually WANT to do. For example, on your wedding day your spouse really wants to serve cake. This desire is partly due to the traditional component as well as the entertainment component. In this circumstance you might decide to enjoy the cake your spouse thoughtfully planned and ordered in order to share in the memories of the day with friends and family.
The Isolator/Detached decision is one that goes a little bit more unnoticed. This behavior can be identified as someone who chooses to make their own choices in a social situation but they isolate themselves from the group in an effort to minimize the chances of conversation and negative behavior or interactions. This is a more aggressive approach and can have the most detrimental effects on relationships. This behavior is also identified in someone who avoids social situations all together to avoid any chances at revealing their diet and lifestyle routines. It’s hard to imagine a situation in which this behavior would be favorable as it is not sustainable and can be extremely lonely.
The Leader's decision is the ultimate goal for life, longevity, and happiness. The leader takes full responsibility for their choices and uses their unique health and lifestyle habits to inspire others. No matter where they go or who they’re with, they stay true to who they are and what they are trying to accomplish. They humbly share their journey and don’t shy away from confidently living out their diet and lifestyle approaches in all scenarios. Not only will this help reach our own goals faster and be more sustainable but we can actually inspire others to seek more for their own lives.
The key to sticking to your journey is to be confident, approachable, and humble. The fitness journey is a personal expedition towards a healthier, more vibrant life. By embracing diversity, respecting individual paths, and promoting understanding, we can create a fitness community that uplifts and empowers all its members. Let us replace all forms of body shaming with acceptance, support, and an open mind.